I bought my first and only numerology book on a whim.
It didn’t take long to impress me.
My profiles seemed extremely accurate right off the bat.
I completed profiles for others. They had similar experiences.
But its mettle was proved beyond a doubt when I finally got around to the section I’d been avoiding…
The divining section.
Out in the Cut
Fortune telling is kind of scary.
So at first I stayed away.
I’m not sure whether it was boredom, curiosity, or a desire to know that finally lead to me looking into personal numerology cycles.
Part of it was certainly the setting.
We were living lazily in sunny Arizona.
“We” = The soon-to-be-mother-of-my-child and me.
She was about ready to pop. And we were waaaaaay out in the cut.
Like hawks and rattlesnakes and coyotes out in the cut.
Like 15 minutes from the nearest 1-gas-station-town out in the cut.
Like I had to hike up a “small hill” for cell phone service out in the cut.
Like I saw 10 tarantulas a day out in the cut.
We weren’t really living lazy. We were living off the land.
But it felt lazy.
That’s because it was too hot to move during the day.
So I read. And I got a lot of sun.
I was expecting a son.
Nervous Curiosity
Believing in numerology had already proven useful to me.
I didn’t want to ruin it by reading my future and then thinking “wow, how dumb.”
That could have shaken faith in useful beliefs about who I am.
I like my basic numerology profile a lot. I have lots of 6s, and 7s, and 8s. They fit. The letters in my name cover every number. That fits.
It doesn’t really matter if you know what any of that means.
The point is this:
I take my numerology profile as a compliment. I can’t be having anything tell me it’s some B.S.—certainly not another piece of the numerology puzzle.
So I was wary to say the least.
But I had read everything else.
Looking back, I’m sure I was guided by my Angels (another useful belief).
It was the perfect time to check out our cycles.
(And I’ve barely looked at the divining aspect of numerology since. “Reading the future” just isn’t that interesting to me.)
It was August, the month before our first son was born.
I was in a 5 month. 5 is the number of change. We had slept in probably 8 different locations as we made our way across the country from N.C. It was certainly a month of change.
My next month was a 6—the number of love.
She was in an 8 month. 8 is the number of management, organization, and abundance. I can’t speak on what that meant for her. But I do know she was putting the finishing touches my first baby boy.
Her next month was a 9—the number of completed cycles.
It just so happened that her pregnancy started on a 1.
Cycles go 1 through 9.
We planted that seed on a 1 and reaped harvest on a 9.
💕🙏🦄Love You Tashiman.🦄🙏💕
Now I don’t know that this means numerology is real.
But I do know that it helped me then. And other pieces of it help me now.
Faith is a funny thing.
I choose to use mine intentionally.
Why I Choose to Believe in Numerology
I am fully aware of this fact:
Had I chosen to look at my monthly cycles any other time, it might not have resonated. Even in that moment, if I hadn’t had a women whose “spiritual” cycle matched an undeniable physical one, it might not have resonated.
That’s not all that important to me.
Like other similar beliefs, I use numerology to build myself up. I can’t conceive of a way it could hurt me.
It connects to other beliefs I have. As such, numerology adds to the empowering frameworks I have around my soul’s journey and life’s purpose.
I use it to build meaning into my life. I use it to gain strength from pain. I use it to become the best me.
And I use it very well.
I choose my beliefs.
And you do too.
I tell you this story to help you see that you do.
Our beliefs often hurt us.
They open wounds of guilt and shame. They put words in our head…
…like “wrong”
…like “should have”
…like “you’re to blame.”
Be careful with your beliefs.
Don’t hold them so close to your chest.
Bring them out. Take a look at them.
Let go of any between you and your best.