All Things
Character

Pillar of Greatness

Living an exceptional life requires an exceptional character.  If you yearn for greatness, you have to be worthy of it.

Man Amongst Men

Living a principled life will make you a community pillar.  The world needs more people we can trust and rely on.

For those new to intentional character development:

Let’s start with the best advice up front.

Just start trying, because the world needs it.

Let’s be real.

Modern society has been spiraling into a cesspool of narcissism and hedonism for the last few decades.  It was slow at first.  Now, it’s like we’re trying to destroy our own civilization as quickly as possible.

The world needs good people more than ever.

Personal Responsibility 1st

Gandhi is often cited as the origin of the saying “be the change you want to see in the world.”

And while his actual words were more nuanced…

“We but mirror the world.  All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body.  If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change.  As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him.  This is the divine mystery supreme.  A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness.  We need not wait to see what others do.”

– Mahatma Gandhi

…the meaning is still very much the same.

In the end, you only have control over one person:

You.

So if you want the world to change, change yourself.

Indeed, Personal Responsibility is near the zenith of human virtue.  Jordan Peterson often tells people to shoulder the heaviest burden they can carry and struggle uphill with it.  Not only does this provide deep fulfillment, it also makes the world a better place.  That’s what makes it such a great prescription.

The better your character, the more positive your impact on those around you and society at-large.

It begs the question though, where should you begin?

The first of Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements is “Be impeccable with your word.”

And that’s a great place to start.

This idea encompasses several virtues like Honesty and Integrity.  Society values men and women who are trustworthy and reliable.  (And we need more of them!)  So start keeping your promises—to yourself and others.

Even seemingly small changes like this can create a major shift in the way people view you (and how you view yourself.)  Not to mention, keeping your word is fully within your control the vast majority of the time.

Skills > Traits

Approaching your character with a Growth Mindset is important.

For most aspects of character, it is often more useful to think of them as “skills” instead of “traits.”

This is a seemingly small yet powerful distinction.  Skills are things you can develop.  Traits sound more like intrinsic attributes that you cannot change.  We typically ascribe character traits to one’s Personality, often wrongly.  Instead, think of them as abilities you can master.

It might even help you to “Gamify” your character development.

This concept comes from RPGs, or role-playing games, where your character has a variety of attributes that you can improve as you “level up.”  In a video game, these might include health points, attack damage, or magical ability.  In real life, these might include any aspect of yourself that you would like to improve.

Luckily, you get to plan out your own skill tree.  However, there is one prerequisite that always makes a huge difference.  It’s called Goal Setting.  All Personal Growth, including character development, works best when it is informed by clear-cut goals.  You have to know what you want in order to know who you need to become.

Personal vs Social

Once you’ve got your goals laid out, it’s helpful to separate character traits into two buckets.

The first group is deeply personal.  These qualities typically affect you more than anyone else.

They include such traits as:

• Courage
• Self Control & Self Discipline
• mental toughness
• stoicism
• self belief & Confidence
• humility
• Self Awareness
• integrity
• discernment
• Gratitude
• ambition
• Work Ethic
• perfectionism
• enthusiasm
• willpower

The second group is more social.  In fact, you can’t really even hone them without human interaction.  Moreover, association with higher quality people often helps you rise to the next level more quickly.  As they say, iron sharpens iron.  There are some exceptions, but associating with people who embody the characteristics you admire is usually one of the fastest ways to acquire these traits yourself.

A strong network can help you build skills like:

• honesty
• Compassion
• Forgiveness
• Leadership
• trust & faith
• charisma
• generosity

Obviously, there is some crossover between personal and social character virtues.  For example, your Self Confidence makes a difference for both you and those around you.

If you’re a maniac like me, you might do deep dives into different character traits like Stoicism, _____, _____, and ______.  If you haven’t noticed, that’s part of what I’m doing with This Site.

Fortunately, it’s not really necessary to go this hard.  After all, life itself is a training ground.  Whether you know it or not, you’re on a Hero’s Journey/your life mirrors the Hero’s Journey.  Inevitably, you’re going to face Adversity.

Embrace it.

The Hero’s Journey

The Hero’s Journey is one of most potent personal development concepts around.

Whether you know it or not, you are the hero of your own story.  At least, you should be.  Many of us actually tend to play the role of the antagonist in our own lives.  Self sabotage is a common disease of the mind.

Thankfully, the pen is in your hand; you are the principal writer of your own narrative.

Sure, you aren’t in control of everything and hardship is a fact of life.

But what’s a story without a little bit of Adversity?

Dull and boring, that’s what.

It’s true:

You don’t necessarily get to determine the exact setting of your story or the challenges therein.  However, you do get to choose the framing of those challenges, the narrative themes, and your own character development.

Heroes and villains always have the same back story—pain.

The difference is what they choose to do about it.

Villain says “the world hurt me, I’ll hurt it back”

Hero says “the world hurt me, I’m not gonna let it hurt anyone else.”

Heroes use pain. Villains are used by it.

— Alex Hormozi (@AlexHormozi) June 10, 2023

the power of narratives to illustrate character principles… it’s called character development in storytelling… what is the arc of your life?… address challenges with the intention of self development in mind

The “training montage” is one of the most common tropes in heroic stories… seen a lot in shonen anime and even movies like Rocky

Don’t confuse this with “main character syndrome,” the narcissistic version of this.

Assuming the role of hero won’t prevent disaster in life, but may help you deal with it…. both psychologically and practically… you’ll do better and feel better while you do better

Why Prioritize Character?

paragon of virtue just for the sake of it… spirituality…lots of new age stuff is just about feeling good/hedonism

Modern society likes to tell people “do whatever makes your happy.”  Ancient wisdom illustrated by the best stories tells you to “do what is right.”… ultimately, this is more fulfilling anyway

two aspects of character motivation… becoming who you want to be so you can live the life you want to live (achievement/happiness)… becoming someone who does the right thing (morality)… both have their own validity

habits

improving your character is one of the most important aspects of personal growth

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