All Things
Character

Pillar of Greatness

Living an exceptional life requires an exceptional character.  If you yearn for greatness, you have to be worthy of it.

Man Amongst Men

Living a principled life will make you a community pillar.  The world needs more people we can trust and rely on.

For those new to intentional character development:

Let’s start with the best advice up front.

Just start trying, because the world needs it.

Let’s be real.

Modern society has been spiraling into a cesspool of narcissism and hedonism for decades, maybe longer.  It was slow at first.  Now, it’s like we’re trying to destroy our own civilization as quickly as possible.

The world needs good people now more than ever.

Personal Responsibility 1st

Gandhi is often cited as the origin of the saying “be the change you want to see in the world.”

And while his actual words were more nuanced…

“We but mirror the world.  All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body.  If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change.  As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him.  This is the divine mystery supreme.  A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness.  We need not wait to see what others do.”

– Mahatma Gandhi

…the meaning is still very much the same.

In the end, you only have control over one person:

You.

So if you want the world to change, change yourself.

Indeed, Personal Responsibility is near the zenith of human virtue.  Jordan Peterson often tells people to shoulder the heaviest burden they can carry and struggle uphill with it.  Not only does this provide deep fulfillment, it also makes the world a better place.  That’s what makes it such a great prescription.

The better your character, the more positive your impact on those around you and society at-large.

It begs the question though, where should you begin?

The first of Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements is “Be impeccable with your word.”

And that’s a great place to start.

This idea encompasses several virtues like Honesty and Integrity.  Society values men and women who are trustworthy and reliable.  (And we need more of them!)  So start keeping your promises—to yourself and others.

Even seemingly small changes like this can create a major shift in the way people view you (and how you view yourself.)  Not to mention, keeping your word is fully within your control the vast majority of the time.

Skills > Traits

Approaching your character with a Growth Mindset is important.

For most aspects of character, it is often more useful to think of them as “skills” instead of “traits.”

This is a seemingly small yet powerful distinction.  Skills are things you can develop.  Traits sound more like intrinsic attributes that you cannot change.  We typically ascribe character traits to one’s Personality, often wrongly.  Instead, think of them as abilities you can master.

It might even help you to “Gamify” your character development.

This concept comes from RPGs, or role-playing games, where your character has a variety of attributes that you can improve as you “level up.”  In a video game, these might include health points, attack damage, or magical ability.  In real life, these might include any aspect of yourself that you would like to improve.

Luckily, you get to plan out your own “skill tree.”  However, there is one prerequisite that always makes a huge difference.  That’s Goal Setting.  All Personal Growth, including character development, works best when it is informed by clear-cut goals.  You have to know what you want in order to know who you need to become.

Personal vs Social

Once you’ve got your goals laid out, it’s helpful to separate character traits into two buckets.

The first group is deeply personal.  These qualities typically affect you more than anyone else.

They include such traits as:

• Courage
• Self Control & Self Discipline
• mental toughness
• stoicism
• self belief & Confidence
• humility
• Self Awareness
• integrity
• discernment
• Gratitude
• ambition
• Work Ethic
• perfectionism
• enthusiasm
• willpower

The second group is more social.  In fact, you can’t really even hone them without human interaction.  Moreover, association with higher quality people often helps you rise to the next level more quickly.  As they say, iron sharpens iron.  There are some exceptions, but associating with people who embody the characteristics you admire is usually one of the fastest ways to acquire these traits yourself.

A strong network can help you build skills like:

• honesty
• Compassion
• Forgiveness
• Leadership
• trust & faith
• charisma
• generosity

Obviously, there is some crossover between personal and social character virtues.  For example, your Self Confidence makes a difference for both you and those around you.

If you’re a maniac like me, you might do deep dives into different character concepts like Stoicism, Grit, Antifragility, and Self Authoring.  If you haven’t noticed, that’s part of what I’m doing with This Site.

Fortunately, it’s not really necessary to go this hard.  After all, life itself is a training ground.  No matter what you do, you’re going to face challenges in life.  You’re going to have to Overcome Adversity and deal with shattered expectations.

So you might as well embrace it.

The Hero’s Journey

The Hero’s Journey is one of the most common Storytelling frameworks.

It is also one of most potent personal development concepts.

Whether you know it or not, you are the hero of your own story.  At least, you should be.  Many of us actually tend to play the role of the antagonist in our own lives.  Self Sabotage is a common disease of the mind.

Thankfully, the pen is in your hand; you are the principal writer of your own narrative.

Sure, you aren’t in control of everything and hardship is a fact of life.

But what’s a story without conflict and tension?

Dull and boring, that’s what.

It’s true:

You don’t necessarily get to determine the exact setting of your story or the challenges therein.  However, you do get to choose the framing of those challenges, the narrative themes, and your own character development. 

Heroes and villains always have the same back story—pain.

The difference is what they choose to do about it.

Villain says “the world hurt me, I’ll hurt it back”

Hero says “the world hurt me, I’m not gonna let it hurt anyone else.”

Heroes use pain. Villains are used by it.

— Alex Hormozi (@AlexHormozi) June 10, 2023

Like any story, yours is up to your interpretation.

Will your interpretation include a “training montage,” like you see in the Rocky movies?  What arcs will your character go on?  How does your main character (you) deal with setbacks?

Characters in stories aren’t defined by their challenges, but how they respond to said challenges.

The same is true of human beings.

This is one of the reasons why narratives can be such powerful inspirational and motivational tools.  It’s called Character Development for a reason.  Certain characters (and historical figures) speak to our hearts because they reflect aspirational virtues, virtues that we’d often like to find (or develop) in ourselves.

Whether fictional or not, tales of courage, willpower, and resolve tend to inspire the same in us.

Unlike a book or movie though, life doesn’t typically have a singular moment that the plot is building to.  More likely, you’ll have many of those moments.  But when they do come, how you approach life day-to-day will almost surely be the difference maker.  Life’s challenges, large and small, offer opportunity for growth.

So run at life’s hurdles with the intention of self development in mind.

You’ll be glad you did when the largest ones appear on the track in front of you.

Why Prioritize Character?

Reputation comes from what people see; character is who you are when no one is watching.

If you want to be proud of yourself when you’re by yourself, choose character.

Being a person you consider “good” is fulfilling within itself.

It also feels good to feel like a “strong” person, an “honest” person, or a “hard working” person.  Self Belief feels good.  There must be good reason for that.

All the ancient mystics and philosophers had their version of Morality and Ethics.  Choose their wisdom over the advice of celebrities and “influencers.”  It’s the foundation upon which our world was built.  Now, we’ve become untethered to the meaning our lives used to have.

…which is why you see what you see today.

Modernity pushes many toward “main character syndrome,” which is something like a bastardization of the hero’s journey.  The new age is rife with narcissistic phrases like “do whatever makes you happy.”  It’s actually quite childish.  It transforms phrases like “you only live once” and “self care” into selfish, ugly abominations.

Yet, many are seduced by this worldview.  On the surface, “do what feels good” sound much more appealing than “do what is right, regardless of how you feel.”

However, it’s easy to see the damage this worldview has wrought on Western Civilization.

It’s one of the main things eroding the very fabric of our Society.

The political divide is massive.  Our societies are “low trust.”  The family has broken down.  We seemingly don’t know right from wrong, much less how to balance Justice and Empathy.  The people in power are having their way with us.  Innocents are being hurt every day in every place.

We need to bring that old feeling back:

A little bit of that “if I do the wrong thing, I feel bad about it.”

A little bit of that “I stand up for people being hurt.”

A little bit of that “I make the hard decisions.”

A little bit of that “I make sacrifices.”

A little bit of that “I forgive.”

😬😬😬

True, Personal Responsibility often feels like an existential threat.

If we don’t, we’re probably doomed.

So not only will cultivating your character help you achieve more and be happier, you’re also helping to save the world.

The world needs more heroes, more heroes like you.

My Character Posts